Marriage: A Different Approach

As we approach the new year, many of us begin setting goals. As college students, we set goals that affect our academic and social status. Most of us want to focus on ourselves because after all, this is the most selfish time of our lives, and we should take advantage of the independence and learning experiences. However, in the last few years, I have observed a changing pattern among my peers. I've noticed that many young people want to get married before they reach the age of 21. I have met people younger than me with goals of purchasing an engagement ring this year. And yet, I am still unsure as to why we are supposed to get married in the first place. Are there good reasons to get married?

I am not a huge fan of MTV reality shows, but a new one has recently caught my attention. "Engaged and Underage" is a reality show that follows the lives of young people between 18 and 22 who are engaged. In the first episode, we meet Lauren and David, both 21-year-old virgins who are engaged to be married. While I was observing their relationship, it appeared to me as though they are lacking a secular life experience or a reality so to speak. They both have spent four years in a Christian college, and every weekend in a church.

Just before I changed the channel, I heard, "Things are frustrating right now, but I know it will all change once we get married." It seems that they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. With no independence or maturity, this couple is doomed. In this case, the decision to marry is based from a religious perspective. Obviously these individuals are morally restricted in their beliefs and therefore feel that marriage is a solution for their natural temptations. "I know I want to marry Lauren, so why wait?" says David to his disapproving father. The real question is, "Why not, what's the rush?"

This is just one case of bad decision-making. Other people choose to tie the knot for acceptance in a world that will never accept you as you are. We fear the idea of being 35 and single. In my opinion, people should fear being 35 and divorced. Breaking the promise you made to the other person is selfish, and a huge reflection on your own character and what you stand for. Is it worth it to rush into marriage without taking the proper steps to ensure success?

This topic is controversial to many due to a major time of societal change. Nothing is left to tradition at this point, as society becomes more liberated and free to change at will.

This is why it is easy to understand the counter argument. Some people get married to fulfill things they lacked as a child, such as a family. Others seek independence and stability in a life that is free from parental control. I agree that independence from our upbringing is crucial to growing as an individual with our own belief systems, standards, and sets of values.

I believe that this type of growth can be achieved by experiencing life in a way that you cannot do once you are legally bound by the ties of matrimony. Study abroad, live with friends, pursue a career and establish a true sense of self. Those are all key steps in shaping ourselves for adulthood and marriage. I feel that marriage is a union between two people based on a foundation of love, commitment and companionship. As individuals of society, I would hope that we are striving for these qualities in a marriage, should we choose to take that plunge.