2008 Woodie Awards
Curious Minds
Danielle Carrillo
Issue date: 10/4/06 Section: Opinion
I wrote a non-fiction narrative about the power of curiosity and how it can be so strong it makes you justify violating your ethics exemplified by the story of a silly girl who got too curious about a stupid boy and let it get the better of her.
At first, I was going to share the details of this story in hopes that it would create understanding and create deep thought. But I realizedthe moral of my story wasn't as important as the effect it can have on people.
We all do bad things. These things are usually forgivable and we probably don't mind discussing them with friends. But sometimes we do very bad things that we don't want anyone to know about because they directly contradict whatever ideas we have about ourselves.
In my case, I fell for a boy who already had a girlfriend. Normally the story would end there. I'm against cheating for so many reasons, but if I had to choose, I'd say I'm mostly against it because it shows a lack of respect and is unfair to all parties involved. But curiosity got the better of me.
I once read that the problem with desire is that you want everything. It's true. I was eager to know the touch of his hand, to feel his lips on mine, to be with him. So I broke my rules and decided to play pseudo-girlfriend to a six-foot, blue-eyed boy with a friendly smile and sarcastic demeanor.
I still don't really know what happened in the end except that it happened and then it was over. He went back to his girlfriend which, I suppose, was his way of dealing with the situation to seek forgiveness and be the good guy. Maybe I walked away because I didn't want to be the dirty mistress.
All I know is that I'm waiting to be restored to a former self I
can respect.
While looking for a way back, I wrote this paper and someone read it. This person was in a similar situation and found resolve by reading it. When this person talked to me about it I was
overwhelmed...with feeling.
A result of my dealings was that I closed myself off to my feelings. I was so confused by my choices and the things I did, that I didn't know how to feel about anything, so I stopped feeling everything.
But here was someone who understood, someone that was healed. Through this person's healing, I was able to restore a piece of myself.
We all do bad things. Some of us do very bad things. Even though we're broken, it's only temporary. Hopefully we can stumble upon someone to commiserate with.
At first, I was going to share the details of this story in hopes that it would create understanding and create deep thought. But I realizedthe moral of my story wasn't as important as the effect it can have on people.
We all do bad things. These things are usually forgivable and we probably don't mind discussing them with friends. But sometimes we do very bad things that we don't want anyone to know about because they directly contradict whatever ideas we have about ourselves.
In my case, I fell for a boy who already had a girlfriend. Normally the story would end there. I'm against cheating for so many reasons, but if I had to choose, I'd say I'm mostly against it because it shows a lack of respect and is unfair to all parties involved. But curiosity got the better of me.
I once read that the problem with desire is that you want everything. It's true. I was eager to know the touch of his hand, to feel his lips on mine, to be with him. So I broke my rules and decided to play pseudo-girlfriend to a six-foot, blue-eyed boy with a friendly smile and sarcastic demeanor.
I still don't really know what happened in the end except that it happened and then it was over. He went back to his girlfriend which, I suppose, was his way of dealing with the situation to seek forgiveness and be the good guy. Maybe I walked away because I didn't want to be the dirty mistress.
All I know is that I'm waiting to be restored to a former self I
can respect.
While looking for a way back, I wrote this paper and someone read it. This person was in a similar situation and found resolve by reading it. When this person talked to me about it I was
overwhelmed...with feeling.
A result of my dealings was that I closed myself off to my feelings. I was so confused by my choices and the things I did, that I didn't know how to feel about anything, so I stopped feeling everything.
But here was someone who understood, someone that was healed. Through this person's healing, I was able to restore a piece of myself.
We all do bad things. Some of us do very bad things. Even though we're broken, it's only temporary. Hopefully we can stumble upon someone to commiserate with.
Be the first to comment on this story