2008 Woodie Awards
Vote for the Cleaner Money
David McKinley
Issue date: 9/19/07 Section: Opinion
The coming presidential primaries seem to be causing voting Americans quite a bit of trouble. We all know if a Republican wins, we would be better off traipsing up to Canada to sell snowshoes for the winter.
Any voter can plainly tell that eight of the nine gray-haired jackasses campaigning on the "red team" aren't even worthy to run the Oval Office coffee maker, let alone the entire country.
Rudy Giuliani grubs his votes off of the deaths of more than 2,600 Americans, constantly preaching "9/11." John McCain, once a champion for campaign reform, is now so willing to flip-flop his policies just to make it into office that he has become little more than a bad political joke. Fred Thompson's political ability is nearly as bad as his acting, and Mitt Romney is about as sane as Charles Manson on six tabs of acid.
Quite simply, the Republicans running this year have about as much chance of winning as a junior-varsity baseball team has against the Angels. The only one with a single ounce of credibility is Ron Paul, and let's not even get into his chances, if you've even heard his name and not mistaken him for a cheap porn star.
Come to think of it, the Democrats aren't doing too well either. In a sea of no-name, crackpot liberals, the Democrats barely have a chance, except for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, and we should all know who the better choice is.
Now, according to Rasmussen Reports, Clinton is leading the pre-polls for the Democratic primary with 20 more percentage points than Obama.
Granted, Clinton has an extra four years of congressional experience, and both candidates share fairly similar ideals and political backgrounds. But there is one alarming difference, a difference that should be reversing the pre-polls, yet it isn't.
Clinton's campaign finance trail is about as clean as the yellow brick road after a munchkin fraternity hazing. Take for example the recent Clinton-Hsu campaign finance scare. According to www.againsthillary.com, and many other published journals, Clinton received more than $900,000 from a shady Chinese businessman by the name of Norman Hsu, also a one-time fugitive. Conveniently, when Hsu would contribute to the Clinton effort, several members of his family would as well.
Any voter can plainly tell that eight of the nine gray-haired jackasses campaigning on the "red team" aren't even worthy to run the Oval Office coffee maker, let alone the entire country.
Rudy Giuliani grubs his votes off of the deaths of more than 2,600 Americans, constantly preaching "9/11." John McCain, once a champion for campaign reform, is now so willing to flip-flop his policies just to make it into office that he has become little more than a bad political joke. Fred Thompson's political ability is nearly as bad as his acting, and Mitt Romney is about as sane as Charles Manson on six tabs of acid.
Quite simply, the Republicans running this year have about as much chance of winning as a junior-varsity baseball team has against the Angels. The only one with a single ounce of credibility is Ron Paul, and let's not even get into his chances, if you've even heard his name and not mistaken him for a cheap porn star.
Come to think of it, the Democrats aren't doing too well either. In a sea of no-name, crackpot liberals, the Democrats barely have a chance, except for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, and we should all know who the better choice is.
Now, according to Rasmussen Reports, Clinton is leading the pre-polls for the Democratic primary with 20 more percentage points than Obama.
Granted, Clinton has an extra four years of congressional experience, and both candidates share fairly similar ideals and political backgrounds. But there is one alarming difference, a difference that should be reversing the pre-polls, yet it isn't.
Clinton's campaign finance trail is about as clean as the yellow brick road after a munchkin fraternity hazing. Take for example the recent Clinton-Hsu campaign finance scare. According to www.againsthillary.com, and many other published journals, Clinton received more than $900,000 from a shady Chinese businessman by the name of Norman Hsu, also a one-time fugitive. Conveniently, when Hsu would contribute to the Clinton effort, several members of his family would as well.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
C. Wesley Fowler
posted 9/19/07 @ 9:27 PM PST
"The only one with a single ounce of credibility is Ron Paul, and let's not even get into his chances, if you've even heard his name and not mistaken him for a cheap porn star. (Continued…)
mike
posted 9/19/07 @ 9:51 PM PST
"Why is everyone having so much trouble deciding who to vote for?"
YAH!! Ron Paul 2008!!!!!
Tannim
posted 9/20/07 @ 12:34 PM PST
"The only one with a single ounce of credibility is Ron Paul, and let's not even get into his chances, if you've even heard his name and not mistaken him for a cheap porn star. (Continued…)
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