2008 Woodie Awards
Playing With My Xbox
HDTV Positive
Julia Corral
Issue date: 9/26/07 Section: Entertainment
I was 10 when I had my first dice roll. It was at daycare, on a Tuesday, in the back room. His name was David and he wore glasses. I closed my eyes, stuck out my palm and he handed me an eight-sided piece of plastic. It was the first time I dabbled in "Dungeons and Dragons." Ever since then I would always have a thing for nerds.
Years would pass and this affliction would gradually increase. I remember going to the nickel arcade playing "Streetfighter II." I would always pick Chun-Li. I liked the way she wore her hair. I would buy X-men cards and trade all my Wolverines and Dr. Xaviers for Rogues. I know, bad move. I didn't know better back then, I was a poser.
Atari, Nintendo, Gameboy and Sega Genesis were my passports into boy utopia. Judy Blume's doctrine brainwashed me to act like one of them to get their attention. When they came over for play dates I'd flash my "Legend of Zelda" when in reality I was playing Tetris.
The Playstation 2 at my old apartment was merely used to watch "Sex and the City" on DVD and play marathon runs of "Karaoke Revolution." During this time my life could not escape those thick-rimmed, Rivers Cuomo-look-a-like spectacles.
Then at the age of twenty-three I met a gamer. He was not just another "Resident Evil," "Tony Hawk Pro Skateboarder," "Grand Theft Auto" type of guy. It was worse. He was an almost 30, lived at home with his mom, too may bong rips, World of Warcraft loser. On top of that, he was only moderately attractive. However, he did have those bifocals that reminded me of David.
I spent six months of my life learning words like "Alliance" and "Horde." We only fooled around after he died and we were waiting for him to get resurrected. When he showered I fished for points so he could trade them for a new utility belt. This former cheerleader even thought about joining a server. One day I looked in the bathroom mirror, splashed cold water on my face, and said enough is enough.
I dumped him. Or he dumped me. That's just semantics. I made a pact to myself that I would never date a guy who had a strong affinity for any joystick that wasn't his own.
I have a new flavor of the week and he does own a Playstation, which is only used as a CD player because the sound is amazing. And I know the only time he plays with a
Nintendo Wii is at Best Buy.
One night during an intense cuddle session watching "Big Brother" on TV, it came on: An advertisement for "Halo 3." He asked me if he should get an Xbox 360 for Christmas. It felt like "Mortal Kombat" when Kano rips out the heart of his opponent and pumps his fist in the air.
I kissed him coyly on the cheek and explained in a polite manner that if he got an Xbox 360 then he would not play with my "Xbox" anymore.
He dropped the subject, but I am still afraid. What girl wouldn't be? Those graphics are incredible. It's a sad fact to face that I give my milk away for free, but Microsoft charges $399.99 for theirs.
Years would pass and this affliction would gradually increase. I remember going to the nickel arcade playing "Streetfighter II." I would always pick Chun-Li. I liked the way she wore her hair. I would buy X-men cards and trade all my Wolverines and Dr. Xaviers for Rogues. I know, bad move. I didn't know better back then, I was a poser.
Atari, Nintendo, Gameboy and Sega Genesis were my passports into boy utopia. Judy Blume's doctrine brainwashed me to act like one of them to get their attention. When they came over for play dates I'd flash my "Legend of Zelda" when in reality I was playing Tetris.
The Playstation 2 at my old apartment was merely used to watch "Sex and the City" on DVD and play marathon runs of "Karaoke Revolution." During this time my life could not escape those thick-rimmed, Rivers Cuomo-look-a-like spectacles.
Then at the age of twenty-three I met a gamer. He was not just another "Resident Evil," "Tony Hawk Pro Skateboarder," "Grand Theft Auto" type of guy. It was worse. He was an almost 30, lived at home with his mom, too may bong rips, World of Warcraft loser. On top of that, he was only moderately attractive. However, he did have those bifocals that reminded me of David.
I spent six months of my life learning words like "Alliance" and "Horde." We only fooled around after he died and we were waiting for him to get resurrected. When he showered I fished for points so he could trade them for a new utility belt. This former cheerleader even thought about joining a server. One day I looked in the bathroom mirror, splashed cold water on my face, and said enough is enough.
I dumped him. Or he dumped me. That's just semantics. I made a pact to myself that I would never date a guy who had a strong affinity for any joystick that wasn't his own.
I have a new flavor of the week and he does own a Playstation, which is only used as a CD player because the sound is amazing. And I know the only time he plays with a
Nintendo Wii is at Best Buy.
One night during an intense cuddle session watching "Big Brother" on TV, it came on: An advertisement for "Halo 3." He asked me if he should get an Xbox 360 for Christmas. It felt like "Mortal Kombat" when Kano rips out the heart of his opponent and pumps his fist in the air.
I kissed him coyly on the cheek and explained in a polite manner that if he got an Xbox 360 then he would not play with my "Xbox" anymore.
He dropped the subject, but I am still afraid. What girl wouldn't be? Those graphics are incredible. It's a sad fact to face that I give my milk away for free, but Microsoft charges $399.99 for theirs.
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