2008 Woodie Awards
Hanging Out by the Pencil Sharpener is Overrated
Kristen Brownell
Issue date: 10/24/07 Section: Blogs
You know how some companies have a policy that forbids employees from dating one another? I've always firmly believed in that policy, and I wish college instructors implemented similar restrictions when it comes to classmates getting intimately involved.
Notice I said classmates, not schoolmates. It's perfectly fine to date someone within the same industry, but hanging out by the water cooler (or pencil-sharpener, in this case) 24/7 is a whole other story.
I realize the idea of taking a class with a boy/girlfriend seems appealing at first. It's kind of like taking a class with a friend, but with increased benefits. In addition to...ahem…tutoring one another, you also get to play footsie across the aisle and steal kisses when the instructor isn't looking.
However, in addition to creating a significant distraction within the learning environment, getting involved with a classmate inevitably ends in disaster (unless said classmate winds up being your soul mate).
I'm not saying all intimate collegiate relationships end in disaster, but when you're eighteen or nineteen years old and haven't had much life experience, it's safe to say the odds of finding "the one" sitting at the desk next to you are pretty slim.
I realize that sounds a bit cynical and some people aren't going to want to hear it, but it's the truth. Most college students don't even know what career path they want to pursue, so how could they possibly be ready to jump into holy matrimony?
If you're still not convinced, consider this example:
My first semester at Fullerton College, I took a class with a limited number of enrollment space. The space limitation also carried over to the classroom itself - we met in this tiny room no bigger than a janitor's closet, and the chairs were arranged so that we were all sitting face-to-face.
Needless to say, the close quarters forced the students to get to know one another pretty well.
It didn't take a genius to figure out that the two students who sat across from me were more than just study buddies (well, I suppose they were study buddies, but they definitely weren't focused on the book). Every morning before class started, they'd be pressed us against the wall competing for the Tonsil Cup.
I have to admit they were a cute couple and all, but the constant PDAs were both obnoxious and distracting - especially since we were all seated shoulder-to-shoulder. When the table started shaking, we always knew they were playing a vigorous game of footsie.
Then one day, the inevitable happened - they broke up.
After the split, they started sitting on opposite sides of the room, and for some reason the guy took it upon himself to sit right next to me. We began chatting innocently about school and such - nothing flirtatious at all - and his ex-girlfriend was so distraught over our interaction, she abruptly disappeared from class.
I felt guilty over the burned lover's disappearance from class, but at the same time, I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. Being friendly and cordial with her ex-boyfriend (who started talking to me first, which she seemed to completely disregard) hardly made me a target for blame, but apparently she didn't see it that way.
A few weeks after the breakup, I bumped into the ex-girlfriend in one of the restrooms on campus. She proceeded to go off on me for "stealing" her boyfriend, then went on to say that her academic standing was in jeopardy because of me.
I responded by telling her that if she and her ex-boyfriend hadn't signed up for the same class, her academic standing wouldn't even be a concern.
I know I'm not the only one who's been witness to and unwillingly dragged into these types of situations. I don't know about you, but I see classmates hooking up every day. The newfound romances are always great at first, but once a bump in the road pops up, everything goes to hell in a hand basket. I can't begin to imagine how often the aforementioned example has been played out time and time again in our classrooms.
When I was younger, I made the mistake of letting my romantic relationships define my entire existence. I put off going back to school for six years because of that mindset, and that's what I think about every time I see students putting their hormones before school.
I know everyone needs some love every now and again, but it shouldn't take precedent over one's future. After all, getting a degree is far more important than being able to pass your significant other a love letter in class.
Notice I said classmates, not schoolmates. It's perfectly fine to date someone within the same industry, but hanging out by the water cooler (or pencil-sharpener, in this case) 24/7 is a whole other story.
I realize the idea of taking a class with a boy/girlfriend seems appealing at first. It's kind of like taking a class with a friend, but with increased benefits. In addition to...ahem…tutoring one another, you also get to play footsie across the aisle and steal kisses when the instructor isn't looking.
However, in addition to creating a significant distraction within the learning environment, getting involved with a classmate inevitably ends in disaster (unless said classmate winds up being your soul mate).
I'm not saying all intimate collegiate relationships end in disaster, but when you're eighteen or nineteen years old and haven't had much life experience, it's safe to say the odds of finding "the one" sitting at the desk next to you are pretty slim.
I realize that sounds a bit cynical and some people aren't going to want to hear it, but it's the truth. Most college students don't even know what career path they want to pursue, so how could they possibly be ready to jump into holy matrimony?
If you're still not convinced, consider this example:
My first semester at Fullerton College, I took a class with a limited number of enrollment space. The space limitation also carried over to the classroom itself - we met in this tiny room no bigger than a janitor's closet, and the chairs were arranged so that we were all sitting face-to-face.
Needless to say, the close quarters forced the students to get to know one another pretty well.
It didn't take a genius to figure out that the two students who sat across from me were more than just study buddies (well, I suppose they were study buddies, but they definitely weren't focused on the book). Every morning before class started, they'd be pressed us against the wall competing for the Tonsil Cup.
I have to admit they were a cute couple and all, but the constant PDAs were both obnoxious and distracting - especially since we were all seated shoulder-to-shoulder. When the table started shaking, we always knew they were playing a vigorous game of footsie.
Then one day, the inevitable happened - they broke up.
After the split, they started sitting on opposite sides of the room, and for some reason the guy took it upon himself to sit right next to me. We began chatting innocently about school and such - nothing flirtatious at all - and his ex-girlfriend was so distraught over our interaction, she abruptly disappeared from class.
I felt guilty over the burned lover's disappearance from class, but at the same time, I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. Being friendly and cordial with her ex-boyfriend (who started talking to me first, which she seemed to completely disregard) hardly made me a target for blame, but apparently she didn't see it that way.
A few weeks after the breakup, I bumped into the ex-girlfriend in one of the restrooms on campus. She proceeded to go off on me for "stealing" her boyfriend, then went on to say that her academic standing was in jeopardy because of me.
I responded by telling her that if she and her ex-boyfriend hadn't signed up for the same class, her academic standing wouldn't even be a concern.
I know I'm not the only one who's been witness to and unwillingly dragged into these types of situations. I don't know about you, but I see classmates hooking up every day. The newfound romances are always great at first, but once a bump in the road pops up, everything goes to hell in a hand basket. I can't begin to imagine how often the aforementioned example has been played out time and time again in our classrooms.
When I was younger, I made the mistake of letting my romantic relationships define my entire existence. I put off going back to school for six years because of that mindset, and that's what I think about every time I see students putting their hormones before school.
I know everyone needs some love every now and again, but it shouldn't take precedent over one's future. After all, getting a degree is far more important than being able to pass your significant other a love letter in class.
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